FICTION VERSUS MEN

More often than not and more times than healthy, I segregate myself from the rest of the world for some my kinda fun. No really, I give up food, sleep, human beings, daylight and all other such hazards and chase a dream… till I have nothing left of it. I have been called insanely obsessive and intolerably impractical… u see, that’s why I need to give up human company once in a while.

My latest obsession seems to be Dexter Morgan; seems an obsession is really putting it very mildly, u know…but in the interest of normal human standards of tolerance I will refrain from, or rather curb a lil bit, of my extreme desire for a serial killer of a man completely devoid of emotions who has claimed to be without a soul. But considering the last time I fell in love with a Spanish terrorist, Jaime Miro, I think we can comfortably say that I have done some growing up in the last few years.

So seriously, why would a healthy seemingly attractive 26 year old turn to fiction every time her man-needs arise? Huh! Why do you think?

1. Fictitious Men speak in limitation, Real Men do not. 
2. You will face no problem with time allocation with Fictitious Men. Wanna go for a girl’s night out? Just shut down the laptop and you have your life back in your own hands again… magic, ain’t it? Real Men react very well to girl’s night out too subject to being perfectly balanced with a i-aint-no-creating-fuss anymore over any of your Saturday boys’ night out for the …. ummmm…. ummm… to say the least, the whole lifetime!!! 
3. Fictitious Men do not expect you to stay quiet and not move a muscle when his mom calls. Real Men expect disappearance in thin air, to be polite. 
4. Fictitious Men can’t really notice the chipped nail paint or comment about a wardrobe malfunction. Real Men can crib, grumble, crib crib crib crib crib and a lil more about it. 
5. Fictitious Men have this incredible sense of belonging and togetherness. When you want them, you open the book or run the episode…. Pick up where you left without an explanation.. no sense of guilt… no false accusations and yet you can cozy up together and feel the warmth of first love. Real Men have a phenomenal sense of belonging too… they can belong to many things new and young… and picking up where you left? Awww…. What are the dirty socks on the bed for my lovely?
6. It’s kinda cute to watch Fictitious Men make mistakes. They mess it up all but miraculously come out of the mess looking like heroes. It’s a whole different experience watching Real Men make mistakes, no wait, blunders…. Na na …. Mammoth life threatening fudge ups actually… and YOU come out of the mess looking like the bitch. Cute, aint it? 
7. When you are in love with a Fictitious Man, it’s all about you… how he makes you feel, do you want to do this for long, do you want to commit to a marathon 10 hr long watch… When you are in love with a Real Man, you consciously and purposefully decide to dedicate 1 or 2 odd years, in some cases longer and more gruesome, of your youth to melodrama, sentimental confrontations, occasional loneliness, constant self proving and consistent tolerance of things you may not have liked in the past.

Hence, in the interest of mankind in general and men in particular, I do seclude myself once in a while with a Dexter Morgan. When I come out of that phase I feel complete and content enough to battle the odds in the world of Real Men. You think I am insane? Check. You think I am cynical? Check. You think I am a dreamer? Check. You think I might even be frigid? Ha ha ha… ask Dexter Morgan. He will give you 7 more reasons of why he likes being my Fictitious Man.