IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SIN AND SATAN

When you propose to bake a cake on a regular Sunday, what do you essentially do? Now if you’re essentially a regular person, you would step out, with money, buy the flour, the eggs, the milk, the cream, the butter, the baking powder, the essence, the sugar and if you feel like being ornamental, may be some fruits or toppings. You pay the guy; take the stuff and you come back home. Then you go about this elaborate process of mixing the flour, the eggs, the milk, the cream, the butter, the baking powder, the essence, the sugar and some more. You meticulously make the batter and put the batter in the mold  put the mold in the oven, wait for an hour, you begin to smell the flavour, you poke with a knife, and finally, after all the effort, the thought process, the earnest intention and time, comes out a nice fluffy fresh cake! CAKE! No surprises.

When you were at the grocery buying the ingredients, you had one sole purpose in mind. May be some of us were wondering which pick up line to use tonight, which move to master, what would my raise be in office, how to outdo the opposite gender or bring in world peace once and for all, however, despite being immensely pre-occupied, you still knew that you were at the store to buy all the ingredients that you want – to do one thing - bake the cake. You could have thought of making bread or pudding or pie. But you did not! You thought of a cake! You had an unfaltering desire, an unshakeable want, a steadfast ambition that will stop at nothing but a fully baked cake. You really can’t tell me that you did not have the cake in mind when you meticulously chose to buy each of the ingredients that is needed to bake a cake, now, can you? You had an INTENTION. And now the world knows about it.

Some of us have to get to work, some of us have to be there for someone and some of us have a life. For all the rest who can spare some, I know that you know that I really am not talking about a cake today. Today is a different day. A day when you stop believing all that is canned, packed and marketed to you. A day when suddenly all facts seem fiction. Today is the day when we will go back to a man and a woman, to Adam and Eve, a walk in the Almighty’s Garden of Eden, to the forbidden fruit, to the very beginning of the end, to the serpent and to the one who made it all possible.

So, here goes the story. God tells the happy duo to lodge at the Eden, take a walk, make merry but whatever you do, stay away from the fruit of the tree in the middle of the Garden. Eve speaks to the tempting serpent, falls for the trap and eats a fruit. Not just a fruit, The Fruit! Then comes Adam, follows Eve’s footsteps and eats it too.  

Bang (pun intended) ! One little fruit brings mankind tumbling down from paradise to a godforsaken place called Earth where there are no free fruits, no beauty that cannot be bought, no space and no peace. Eve and all womankind stay cursed forever for that one slip, Adam and all mankind now need to slog their asses and God looks really pissed! And in the middle of all this, one person becomes legendary. He is, followed and renounced, cursed and discussed, loved and despised, always in the limelight, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, Satan.

You have heard the story before. You have reaped the fruits. You have been condemned and made to suffer. For one Woman and one Man and that one Fruit. For Satan and The Sin and Sex. And you have meticulously believed in the story that had it not been for Satan, there would be no sex, and Adam and Eve would probably still be roaming somewhere down Eden’s lanes without feeling even an ounce of the traditional attraction that now exists between a man and a woman. However that did not happen. Since the time of the Original Sin, women have thought of men as crazy sex maniacs, men have thought of women as devious bitches and sex became an erotic taboo. The Fruit left a wound that left mankind sore for eternity, gave Satan the kind of publicity that he had not bargained for and God’s plan of asexuality between men and women was thought best to be extensively preached and secretly breached.

But not once did you question the motive. Not once did you think that if God did not ultimately intend Adam and Eve to get attracted, why did he go to the pain of making a man and a woman in a way that they would fit so well together, why did He create the glove if there was to be no hand in it and why did He have to have all the ingredients ready, in the perfect proportion and a timely pre-heated oven if He did not INTEND to bake the cake?

Go home, comrade. Today I will not sell you a piece of my brain. I will not opine or make a statement. Today, go and bite hard into Life. Take a moment and enquire. Breathe and bite harder till you bleed. In the giddiness of the pain you will see… either a Halo or a Horn… but would it really matter?