THE ARRANGEMENT OF MARRIAGE

To fall in love is awe-inspiring. But to not fall in love and opt for an arranged marriage is even better…because iss story me action hain, drama hai, emotion hai, tragedy hai, comedy bhi ho sakti hai (provided u have learnt to laugh on yourself).

Realizing too late that what goes around comes around, I succumbed to some very professional brainwashing by the family to let them start looking for a groom as the not-so-welcome remarks from the not-so-important neighbours was failing drastically to cramp my style. So, I let them look. “Looking” is an understatement unless you are ready to ignore some serious scrutiny and background check as just looking. 

To look one needs the criterias and my family and me and some random other people have yet not finished that list. He has to be smart, well educated (IIT se kaam chala lenge), belong to a stable family, moderately rich and presentable looking for starters. Main course calls for a horoscope match (I can’t believe I am letting the world know that I have agreed to that being a criteria) for mom, a well placed job in a very well to do company for dad, a smooth talker for me and a bhodro guy for sister and some general niceties for my brother-in-law. And if all this is miraculously taken care of by God’s param kripa, then my 4 and a half yr old nephew did demand a BMW on the auspicious and not-so-seemingly-possible occasion of my marriage. So, now that I am convinced that it is not humanly possible for a man to be all those things together, I am quite fine with the idea of dying alone.

There is also the element of the biological clock ticking for me and the brain clock on the other hand not ticking at all. I always was averse to the idea of an arranged marriage. Being a causeless rebel for most of the last 25 years, I was never able to accept the idea of actually doing what my parents want me to do. It just didn’t seem so much fun! But now that I have learnt my lesson the hard way and having had to accept much against my mills & boon trained brain that love may actually not happen to me at all or any time in the next 10 years, like a well trained Indian kid I went running to my parents to seek solace and found myself easily falling for the trap called arranged marriage…

For all those who are married, I have nothing against you. For all those who married after falling in love, I would like to believe I have nothing against you, and for all those who married the arranged way, ladies and gentlemen, I have immense admiration and respect for you, you who successfully satisfied multiple criterias, still looked desirable, did not go into depression, displayed skills at formal small talk, knew what to say and when to stop and had the energy and enthusiasm to still figure out in your head that marriage is actually something you want.

So, I live life in a general fix: to marry or not to marry is not the only question; should I marry, am I meant for marriage, is this the right time, will there ever be a right time, will I love, will I be loved, will I fight the war or surrender, will I change the world and generally the opposite gender…